I got in.
I shouldn’t have. There were too many things to do. But she was just so…warm. And as I gently began the morning ritual of waking her from her sleep with tender back rubs and soft words, the covers held the heat of her sleeping body so perfectly, I couldn’t resist. And so I crawled under her covers, gingerly and full of love, knowing that it would take every ounce of my resolve to finally get back out to begin the day. The laundry, the dishes, the driving, the meals, the phone calls, emails, and work that lay ahead of me.
Because she was there, in the morning light glow just beginning to spill through her blinds. Her dandelion fluff of hair, smelling of soap and sunshine and sparkling on her pillow, it twisted through her sleepy hands and fell down her silky spine.
She murmured the soft sounds of comfort that came from deep in the belly and moved her body into the curves that mine created around her. We breathed together, low and slow, her knees tucked between mine, listening to one another’s heartbeats surrounded by pillows and velvet blanket warmth.
The light slowly crept over her shoulder blade, every vertebrae of her growing spine traced gently beneath the rough skin of my thumb. Her collarbone, smooth and angular, turned up toward the light. The shadows where her ribcage becomes the soft horizon to her belly, the coppery tips of her hair tangled and tickling my throat. It was heaven on earth, just to hold her, even for a few minutes. Knowing that soon enough, she’ll be too old to tuck into my body, too big to fit her shoulder blade into my palm, too busy to listen to the thrumming of our hearts together in this cocoon.
I just dropped her off at school after a morning full of blanket-y giggles after we finally began to move, to talk.
She hopped out of the van and ran her favorite well-worn shoes with the hole in the toe down the sidewalk, her bright purple pants forever an inch too short, and she turned back to wave at me, the same as she does every day. Blowing two kisses, one with each hand, a ritual that will forever play over and over again in my mind’s eye. Her energy and joy and positivity radiating as her ponytail bounced along behind her toward the door, never quite catching up.
I got in today.
I didn’t get in yesterday. Or the day before that. And I don’t know if I will tomorrow. But I’m glad I did today.